It is 10pm on Father's Day and after my Dad (and Mom) worked tirelessly taking care of the kids on Saturday (so we could do a room makeover) and then on Sunday so my Dad could help us finish the room makeover - I actually forgot to give him his Father's Day card! I feel horrible. I realize that being a parent can often be a thankless job when you have little ones. But I have no excuse! I am not exactly little... but I still find myself needing my Dad a lot. He is a rock in our life and he is always there to help with projects - from hanging pictures, to fixing odds and ends, and the biggest job of all, helping us raise our children with love and guidance. He is so very patient. I am pretty sure he must have a battery inside him because he never tires. I am much younger than my Dad yet I am sure that I require much more sleep. What does Super Dad look like? I am pretty sure he looks just like my Dad.
And not to be outdone by Super Dad is my own husband and Super Dad to amazing Noah and precious Cecily. Brien gave up his weekend (and 2 days of surfing) to decorate a room! I am pretty sure that there are not too many husbands who would debate paint colors, curtains, bedding options and pillow placement like my husband. He is passionate and committed to the cause. He is why Noah is not at all phased by this past year. My husband can stare down bad situations and somehow find the shiny spot, even if it is buried under a big pile of dirt. He is always the first to notice what is Cecily is doing - not what she is not doing. He is the first to find someone's strength and not their weakness. I am so very grateful for his optimisitc and positive attitude. He is caring, supportive, funny (very, very funny) and a giver. I think he is one of the most loyal people I have ever met. I know that Noah and Cecily will grow up with integrity and honor because of their Daddy - and their Grumpy Gramps...
So late as it may be... I've always been taught better late than never! Happy Father's Day to the two men who make my world turn in the right direction. Thank you for your effort this weekend in transforming Nia's room into a magical, butterfly retreat. I would be lost without you. I could never say thank you enough for what you have done for me and what you continue to do for me every day! Onwards and upwards!
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What a week! What a wonderful week. We saw the insightful and caring Dr. Crawford today and he gave Cecily a glowing report. It is always great when a Doctor can see the changes that you are seeing at home - and even better when they are optimistic for you! We are so excited! We are crossing our fingers that the MRI is normal but we are not worried! We can't control the outcome we can just appreciate that the medical community is looking at all the possibilites to help our littel baby. So many wonderful things happened today with Cecily. The vomiting continues but she just keeps on fighting and she keeps on trying. She is inchworming! Yes! A major step (slide) forward! Actually she is going backward on the floor but forward in development so we will celebrate! She is trying to hard to crawl! She is babbling up a storm and parroting back what we babble to her! It is like the lightbulb got an upgrade and she's beaming bright light!
What else? Too much to say and I'm exhausted. Working and raising kids is a challenge and one that I seem to be failing at despite my best efforts. I am not sure how people keep all the balls in the air. I am quite sure I have a few balls rolling down the street, under the table and perhaps one or two missing in action. But... I am doing my best and for the first time in my life that is going to have to be good enough. I wish I could share the perspective that I've gained with others without seeming to be preachy! I get why so many Moms try and help "new" Moms by flooding them with advice and tips. The need to want to help and share is great - but the need to want to "do it on your own" can be greater. It is not until you can look back and see the whole story that life makes sense. Cecily has given us better vision and for this we are grateful. We are focused on the right things in life and we are focused on bringing our positive energy to others without preaching! We definitely don't have all the answers but we definitely know that asking for help is the first step. And taking the help is the hardest step! And then the rest of the steps are much easier because you're not pretending that you don't need it! No one wants a pity party but it is ok to ask for help.
We've had a few families reach out to us lately for help. We want to help. We appreciate them asking for help. Sometimes we can do it and sometimes we can't. But I encourage people to keep asking. Everyone needs help. I want to thank my colleagues at Websense for their generous donations to Cecily's Closet this week. I am overwhelmed and we are all very appreciative. It has been so lovely to have the support from my co-workers and fellow employees. We are looking forward to our room makeover this weekend where together we will make a difference in the life of a little girl. Onwards and upwards!
I am happy this week is coming to a close. It was full of high highs! and very low lows... We are more determined than ever to get Cecily the help she needs. We'll meet with Cecily's surgeon on Monday to discuss possible next steps and we'll cross our fingers that a surgical view of her anatomy will prove useful.
Cecily had two procedures this week and we clocked quite a few hours at Rady Children's Hospital. Luckily today we were able to take a well deserved break so Noah and his buddy could enjoy some much needed fun at Chuck E. Cheese! He is now passed out on our bed dreaming of pizza, ice cream and motorcycle rides... I think this will be a very long nap!
We have almost completed another room makeover! Pictures to be forthcoming when life settles down. We received our Federal Tax Exemption status today so we'll be able to pursue our corporate sponsorships with more vigor and we've got some good stuff in the works! For this I am truly grateful.
Next week our house goes on the market! If you know of anyone looking for a lovely home in Cardiff by the Sea point them our way! It's time to get back to basics and focus on the most important thing in life - family! Onwards and upwards!
There are days like today that challenge ever fiber in my being to be nice. I want to walk outside and scream at the top of my lungs for someone to listen to me. I watch my son have the occasional tantrum and think to myself... yes, I'm having one of those on the inside. I would love to jump up and down, cry, beg and then whine my way into getting everything I want and need for Cecily. Last night Cecily vomited for the first time since her G/J tube procedure. It burst my bubble and admittedly - burst my bubble of hope. I had been cautiously optimistic but fearful that the vomiting would return. Today, it returned with fury. Ironically we actually were at the hospital for 3.5 hours today... but Cecily waited until we got home to vomit. Then she proceeded to waver between extreme fussiness and lethargy all day. She was not herself. She was miserable. She was crying out in pain and I am helpless to help her. I want to scream. I want to stand on my head and wave a white flag. But what would that do? Tantrums are not for thirty-something’s...
So, tomorrow we will fight with love and not malice. We will try and get that second opinion (which I thought we had already received) and try and keep our composure. We will be strong and we will not let our anger or frustration prevent us from advocating in the best way possible for Cecily. We will get a second opinion. I will focus my efforts and neurotic Mommy mentality into finding a positive improvement for Cecily. My husband will continue to be logical, rational and quietly strong. We refuse to believe that this constant pain and suffering can't be stopped. Cecily may have an unknown genetic syndrome but we will fight for more answers.
It is on days like today - our 8 year anniversary - that I have to smile and again be grateful. If there was anyone in the world I would want to face this challenge with it would be my husband. He is calm when I am crazy. He is nice when I get mean. And sometimes I am calm when he gets crazy (which is rare!). We are a good team and together we will work to ensure Noah and Cecily get the best.
A quick note on Cecily's Closet! We've had more little wins - that tally up to bigger wins! We're working with a fabulous artist for our second room makeover. She is a gift and if anyone is looking for custom wall art, murals or fine paintings, I encourage them to check out Art by Tasha. We will have an article written up in a local paper and we've had a few more designers reach out to us proactively to help! We're putting our efforts towards organizing a giant garage sale to raise more funds for Cecily's Closet. We've been given some great donations and this is just another small way we're trying to spread the word and fund our efforts. Thanks to the support of family and friends. And thanks to my husband for always supporting me, even when I have crazy ideas! Happy Anniversary! Onwards and upwards!