The wait is on for baby Cason... false labor (twice), contractions (check daily) and yet no sign of little baby Cason. I was convinced he was on his way and now he seems to have settled into a groove and I have to admit we're grateful to have a few extra days (or possibly weeks) to love on Noah and Cecily and finish up the various home improvement projects that we decided to take on (at the last minute) because yes... we like to keep busy and we seem to be quite good at it.

On top of the waiting... we have been extra busy with Cecily.  Even without my
"day-job" I feel incredibly busy and my maternity leave is not quite the vacation I had planned.  Poor little Cecily has had a series of ups and downs and we are now 100% convinced it is the perfect time to get a second opinion.  The good news is we spoke to Cardiology today and Cecily does not need heart surgery and we will just continue to monitor her heart.  In addition, her EKG was consistent with her last read (so abnormal but normal for Cecily) so we can continue with her new medication that is helping reduce some (not all) of her pain and it helps dramatically with her sleep.

The rest of the list is long and I'm too tired to go into the details. I will just say that we have the world's BEST pediatrician. Dr. Wood continues to amaze us with her ability to get stuff done! She always advocates for Cecily and she is always finding ways to make things better for our little angel.  She accepts my late night calls, texts and over-the-top mouthfuls of information that pour out when I get fired up about Cecily.  She has called in more than a few favors for us with friends and colleagues and we are just so grateful. We feel we made a lot of progress this week for Cecily's future and we owe it all to her!

A dear friend of ours had a very stressful health scare this week, too.  It took Brien and I by storm and we were devestated when we heard the news. Luckily for her and her amazing family all is fine... but those 24-48 hours of waiting and thinking about "what if..." just served as yet another reminder that each day is so precious and to hug and love on the kids and fight for them because you never know when you just might not be here to do it.  Hugs to our friends for handling the stress and for inspiring us with thier resilience!

I think our kids give us so much inspiration every day. Noah wakes us up (literally and physically) every day.  He has so much energy and he just LOVES life and manages to find the fun in even the most boring activities... (ie. he thinks Home Depot is fun...) He continues to advocate for Cecily at his lovely school and makes sure his friends play nice when she visits in the afternoon. I am so proud of him!!! I could say a few funny/cute stories about just this week but I'll sum it up with this... he is the BEST big brother.  He reminds me every day that Cecily CAN do anything if we are patient. And I just love watching him talk about her with his friends. It is precious.  And Cecily just adores him. Her face is all smiles when he does his funny dances and He has made about ten signs to welcome baby Cason into our home. He is so excited. His excitement is contagious.  We're excited too - just nervous about balancing everything and ensuring every kiddo gets just what they need from us.  We are so grateful to have such a supportive family. We know we'll be taking help at every turn!

Onwards and upwards!

Brien and I love sleep. We always have. We used to believe in naps and 10 hour stretches and we are not lazy people... Over the last 3 weeks we have both been completely sleep deprived.  I feel guilty even talking about it like this because the issue is not our sleep deprivation, but rather what caused it. 

Poor little Cecily is coming off 2+ very upsetting weeks.  She has been in so much pain and until a few days ago we were starting to lose hope. (And this is not like us!) We are eternal optimists even in the face of lots and lots and lots of obstacles.  I have not felt this unsteady, shaken, angry and dare I say desperate since Cecily was about 8 months old and our world seemed to be spinning in every direction but forward.

I have to say a BIG thank you to Dr. Wood for once again advocating for Cecily with the folks down at Rady Children's.  Sometimes you just need a Dr. in your corner who knows you are not exaggerating...who knows that you know your child best and who believes in you! After two plus weeks circling the drain with the GI clinic we have finally made progress!  Cecily started another new medication and cross our fingers... it seems to be working!  The Doctors seem more convinced than ever that Cecily has an autonomic nerve disorder that is contributing to her bouts of unexplained pain and inability to sleep due to sheer pain.  Cecily even began calling me Mommy this week and signed Mommy - hurts... Mommy hurts... It breaks my heart to see her suffering as she looks at me with her big blue eyes just begging me to save her.  It is gut wrenching to hold her and rock her and sing and dance and rub her belly with no chance of helping her through the episode.  What I think about on most of these nights when we're up and worried is how single Moms and Dads do it... or how families that don't have relatives in town do it... or how those folks that don't have a Dr. in their corner advocating for them do it... because we are LUCKY!  I know a lot of people call us "unlucky..." and we understand this statement and we laugh and agree... We agree not because of what is going on with Cecily but just because of the sheer volume of sometimes funny, sometimes outrageous but never dull moments we seem to accrue in a week.  But at the end of the day we have FAMILY and a smothering one at that to help us through the day, the week, or whatever it may be that we need pulling through!

This week we had my Mom, Dad, sister, and friends begging to take Cecily for the night so we could get some sleep.  It is on a week like this that I just thank God for my friends and family.  And I thank God that sleep may in fact be in our short-term future. Cecily had her first full-night's sleep in 3 weeks but poor little Noah awoke with a tummy ache and graced us with a present of vomit... and lots of it.  As we turned on the light and awoke from our short-lived slumber we just turned to each other and laughed.  There are some days when that truly is the best medicine.  We had to be careful not to upset Noah in his state of distress but the irony of having Cecily finally sleep while our healthy little ox was up and sick was too much for us... we just knew that this too shall pass!

And as of tomorrow I'm officially on maternity leave!  It came sooner than expected but given the lack of rest and stress on my plate it was definitely the best decision for baby Cason and the rest of the Ackerly bunch.  

We dream of sleep.  Sweet dreams... of pain-free, happy, quiet nights of sleep!  

Onwards and upwards!

This is a repost but very valuable for Moms of children with special needs...

Retreats forMothersOf Kidswith Special Needsjust for moms, kids play elsewhere 

Rejuvenation! 
Transformation!                  
Support!                             
Fun!                                   
Food! 

A FreeHeart Ranch™ Event Offered at No Cost(to honor the valuable care you give) Feminine Power® Transformative Coaching,Movement Therapy, Expressive Art,Massage, Support Group,…and a delicious, nutritious Lunch!  

For Date, San Diego Location and further information contact:  
Sarah Wyckoff, MA at Sarah@FreeheartRanch.com619-246-4595

Feminine Power® Transformative Coaching addresses the callingmillions of us around the world are feeling to reclaim the feminine, and in so doing, to awaken our authentic power to co-create the future of our lives and shape the future of our world.  Unlike masculine power, which is the power to create things that can be controlled, feminine power is the power to manifest that which is beyond our control, including those things that our heart most yearns for--intimacy, relatedness, creative expression, authentic community and meaningful contribution.  Feminine Power Transformative Coaching engages a process to awaken a deeper, wider experience of Self, Others and Life on a path of awakening you toward the fulfillment of your deepest desires and the contribution in Life that you are. Movement Therapy is the psychotherapeutic use of movement to further the emotional, cognitive, physical and social integration of the individual. Expressive Art taps the imagination and deeper psyche so a person can examine feelings and thought processes and access deep wisdom. Massage enhances physical function, aids in the healing process, and promotes relaxation and well-being. 

Happy Birthday to the most special little angel! We love you sweet Cecily more than you will ever know! You inspire us every day with your will, spirit, spunk, determination, and your soul that speaks through those beautiful blue eyes.  You have taught us how to appreciate the smallest of God's gifts and you remind us daily to be grateful for every opportunity we are given. You have taught us to believe in the impossible and to never, ever give-up!  You are a living miracle and you never cease to amaze us with your progress.

Thank you for being such a cuddle bug! Thank you for being such a sweet sister to Noah.  Thank you for your sassy and stubborn ways. We are confident you will continue on your amazing journey and we will be there every step of the way to cheer you on!

You are such a blessing in our lives and we love you to pieces!

This is a blog of pictures because I think they speak for themselves... the last one is how Cecily ended her day... passed out in her crib! Being 3 is a lot of work...especially when you are the ONLY girl...

We look forward to another wonderful year sweetie!

Onwards and upwards!

What a week... how many blog posts have I started this way? We are learning that life is an adventure and despite our best plans (and Brien and I are definitely type A people that live on a plan...) curve balls are quickly becoming the norm in our fun-filled and often crazy life.  Where to start?

Well first I'll start with a thank-you.  I'm not a fan of baby showers, or any event that is in our honor. (I like going to other people's showers just fine!) I didn't want one for Noah or Cecily - and I definitely didn't think one was needed for baby #3, Cason.  But my friends and family always have a way of sneaking these events into production... and the week started off with a lovely dinner with friends and family.  While I wish they wouldn't have spent the time or money on us - we are very grateful and it made us realize just how close we are to having this little guy join our family. Thank you for spoiling us time and time again.

Cecily continues to have some struggles tolerating her feeds and sleeping at night. She is in a lot of pain and watching her scream out and not be able to console her is a Mommy and Daddy's worst nightmare.  But on the positiive side - we have 2 new Doctors on her team and they are both approaching Cecily from very different angles. In the coming weeks we could be making some changes that will have a big impact on Cecily's life and hopefully they will reduce and/or eliminate the pain she seems to have as a result of eating.  It is so nice to have a fresh perspective from the medical community on what may be causing Cecily's discomfort to grow and we are just praying that she feels better soon.  

That said, the amazing thing about Cecily is despite these set-backs with her feeding she continues to plow forward in every area of her development!  She is continuing to show an aptitude and an interest in signing and she is talking up a little storm.  She is so proud when she says a new word, especially when we are able to understand and repeat it to reinforce her progress.  She claps for herself and her face erupts into the biggest grin.  It is magical! Her new favorite letter is "B"  - whether she is calling to Noah (her baba) or saying big girl words like boys, baby, bump, ba,ba,ba, boo, bus and buzz... like a bee!

And speaking of bees... I came home from work on Wednesday to find the house a buzz... literally.  I wasn't sure what was going on but Cecily's nurse heard me open the door and quickly came to inform me about our new houseguests - bees! Sure enough I looked into the kitchen and there were bees buzzing around!  Worse - it sounded like there was an army of bees about to invade from our kitchen range. The buzzing was intense and my heart was racing....   I was on my cell (always multi-tasking) and the irony is the person I was talking to happened to have this very same thing happen in his kitchen and was able to give me some quick advice.  After ensuring Cecily was safe I called Orkin and they arrived to see the bees flying around....It is honestly one of the wildest experiences to come home and see a swarm of bees... Luckily no one was hurt and so far the bees have not returned! 

With only 4 weeks left until Baby Cason's arrival we're buzzing around trying to make room for baby, get organized, get our taxes complete, install a new bathroom, get Cecily's Closet events organized for the next 2 months, close out work projects and oh yeah... a little thing called rest.  (That last one is not going as well...) I've been told to rest by my OB and my asthma Dr. so I will likely be headed out on maternity leave earlier than I had expected but I am trying to be optimistic about the need to rest.  I know life will be very busy with 3 - and I want to shower Noah and Cecily with extra hugs and kisses because it will be an adjustment for all of us - especially the kids.  And since the Doctors have told me not to hold Cecily (that's impossible and they know it!) I am very grateful to all the family and friends who have stepped up to help us in these final weeks.  (And a big thanks to Mom and Dad who steped up to fill-in after Cecily's nurse threw out her back.) We are praying that I don't have to have a C-section but so far it looks like I'm not avoiding it... so we'll see.

Our biggest family news is that we've made the decision to go ahead and start Cecily in school.  All of her Doctors think this is the right thing - and after touring the school this week - we are starting to agree!  The thought of sending our baby to school is still making my stomach churn but after seeing Sycamore Ridge and meeting the amazing team we feel NOT sending Cecily would be a mistake.  Cecily is social.  Cecily loves to be around other children.  Cecily seems to leap-frog ahead when she is with little kids because she always wants to do what they are doing.  At Noah's school this week Cecily sat at an art table and colored with the kids!  She walked (holding my hands) all the way to the play area and happily played in the grass, the sandbox, and bounced on the trampoline with the other children.  We are eager to see how Cecily adjusts to her new school and you can be we'll be sharing her progress.  We're nervous and excited about the future!

And last but not least... we received MORE amazing news for Cecily's Closet. After the UPS news last week we didn't think things could get any better but it will on March 10th for one lucky family.  I will share the news after the makeover! 

A busy but fun-filled, crazy week in the Ackerly home.

Onwards & upwards!