Happy Birthday to our life-changing baby, Cason! You are a joy and a blessing and we love you so very much! I am quite sure you arrived with a message - and we've been paying attention!  You have unlocked a little piece in all of us that we had no idea was inside. There are no words for the impact you have had on our family. You fill us with hope and love and laughter and joy and hugs and kisses and so many smiles! You are without a doubt an angel baby! In Noah's words..."We love you to the moon and back times infinity..."

It has been a joy to celebrate your growth and development - and to cherish each milestone.  With Noah, we took it all for granted.  With Cecily, we prayed for each milestone to come.  With you, it seems so effortless but we do not take it for granted.  We are so proud of you and we celebrate every milestone and every moment. We can see that even at such a young age you have a gentle soul like Noah, the spunk and sass of Cecily, the calmness and smarts of your Daddy and a big, soft heart like your Mommy.  Your eyes twinkle with the brightest of lights and we love to hear you say Noah Poah! Your chanting and baby antics keep us laughing as you demand attention - in a home full of children that demand attention! 

We love that you love to dance and that you'll shake your bootie for anyone that sings..."Cason's a cutie shake your bootie!"... Yes, this little ditty may haunt you but for me it is pure delight.  You can bring a smile to anyone's face - but my favorite is to see you make Noah giggle and Cecily smile.  I am not sure how you do it... I do backflips for smiles from Cecily and you just crawl or toddle into the room and she is flashing her teeth and can't wait to grab you for a pat, pat, pat!  You can make fart sounds and send Noah into a laughing fit... You are all boy!

Noah's enthusiasm for you continues to surprise me.  With 3 kids and two that require 100% supervision there is not as much time for soccer in the grass, or skating in the street - but there is no resentment.  Every morning it is the same question, "Is Cason up?"... "Can I get in the crib with Cason?"... "Can Cason play?"...  "Can I have my bath with Cason?"... "Can I share my dinner with Cason?"...I love it! It is a joy to see you love on your brother and sister and for them to love on you!  You have opened doors for everyone that I didn't know could be opened.  Cecily is watching you and learning every day.  It is wonderful to see the magic of your non-verbal communication.  I wish I could video it for the world to see the power of the unspoken word.  I know you are sharing secrets and stories - I can see it!

I can't believe how big you are getting! I am happy and I am sad.  You are my baby and I want to keep you small and tiny and with me forever... but I love to see you blossom every day. I look to see you explore your world and your voice.  I love to see you eat and enjoy your food - all of it! It is a pleasure to feed you!

When people ask us how we do it with three kids - we laugh.  We are tired. We are insanely busy.  We are making mistakes right, left and center.  We forget things...lots of things... but one thing is true:  we LOVE our kids.  We can't imagine life without Cason.  He has completed our family in a way that we can feel but can't quite describe.  It wasn't that something was missing before... it is that he has filled us with a renewed spirit for life, living and having fun!  He has inspired us as parents and I am 100% confident that he is a big reason why Cecily has made such developmental progress over the last few months.  He has provided Grammy & Grandpa with a very busy retirement!  (What retirement? haha!)  And for the record I credit the love and devotion they have for all of our children with the reason they are all progressing on their own special paths

I wish that everyone could have a baby Cason.  I could go on... but I always do! You are our angel baby.  Thank you for resetting our course and keeping us on the happy path.  You are a remarkable little guy and we see only big dreams ahead for you!

Onwards & Upwards!

I am not one to brag about my kids.  You may not believe this if you ever read this blog but it is true. I am very proud of my kids at home - and recognize each of their abilities in a way that is special for them - but I just don't believe banging the drum in a public way is always appropriate.  Does this read like a disclaimer?... Cuz lately I've violated the belief I just rambled on about because I just can't stop talking about how amazing Cecily is!

And... my affection for her and her progress is not limited to just me! Team Cecily is equally excited so with permission I'm sharing a story from Cecily's school as written by her devoted nurse.

"I just had to share a moment in Cecily's day today. She was outside at recess and I was putting  her on her bike and a group of typical kids rallied
around her and said, "Why can't Cecily talk?" I said, "Oh, Cecily can talk, she just doesn't talk as much as you do yet. But she has a very special way of
talking when she doesn't use her mouth to talk. She knows sign language, she
talks with her hands.  And she can say lots of words, too, can't you, Cecily?"
Cecily looked up at those kids and said, "Ball", like hey wait a minute, I'll
show you who can talk! It was so cute and she had the sassiest little expression on her face when she blurted out that wonderful word "Ball"! Sometimes I wish I had a video camera to capture some of these special moments. The whole crew of kids took turns helping me pull Cecily's bike as she pedaled around the track. It was the cutest thing ever!

Cecily had a great day at school today. Marina put on the play time signing time video and she had a peer from the typical class sit next to Cecily while Marina practiced sign language with them. It was so sweet. Cecily is something else. She is like a sponge!"

I love when others can see what we're seeing. For so long I felt like I could see Cecily turning the corner but she wasn't sharing her newfound skills with anyone other than me.  It can kinda make you feel like you're imagining the progress but I knew deep down when she was ready she would shine! Well she is shining like a bright light and I'm going to bang the drum all day... She's back in the saddle after a very yucky bug took her down.  I can only imagine what is ahead now that she is feeling better!

Onwards & upwards!

I try not to be superstitious. It seems silly... but I found myself knocking on wood a lot last week as I sang the praises and progresses of Cecily to her medical team. I was so proud of her and everything she has accomplished. She is doing so very well.  She has been healthy, happy and strong - and did I mention healthy?

This week we had Cecily's J-tube removed! Hip Hip Hooray! We have been so looking forward to this day... so excited to have this nightmare, leaky, trouble-some tube removed so we can hopefully provide Cecily some peace and comfort. The tube has not been used in more than six-months so we had the support of the team and her surgeon to close up shop!  During the pre-op appointment we discussed options and decided to try for a non-surgery removal.  It had some risks - but we decided to go for it!

And then the shoe dopped. It started with a small round of vomiting and progressed into something larger.  What a rough few days for sweet Cecily.  The bugs this time of year are nothing short of awful.  The sleep deprivation, the fevers, the vomiting and just plain yucky feelings have had our little princess in a horrible state.  We were not sure if this would result in an emergency surgery OR if this was just an alarming coincidence.  It turns out the sudden upset was just a virus - not tube removal related - but it led to some tense moments and the realization that, "just a virus"... can lead to a very nasty, painful and horrible few days.

It is just a reminder to celebrate the good days and also a testament to good we've had it lately! The suffering Cecily has endured recently was almost a constant two years ago.  In fact, there is no way she would have been strong enough to weather this storm at home... but now she can!  We were so happy to be able to keep her at home where she is more comfortable vs. running back to the hospital for help.  Thank you to our amazing family - Grammy and Grandpa - for once again coming to the rescue!

Prior to this onset Cecily's potty training was hitting an all-time high! She is even flushing the potty when she is all done and giving us a pat-pat-pat! She is so happy and so proud! I was not sure this day would come and we have A LOT of work ahead... but she is showing us she is ready if we just believe and give her a chance.

Her signing continues to amaze me.  Over these last few days I was asked to update the amount of words Cecily can sign.  I have to admit I was even shocked as I went to do the list - AND I forgot a tone more.  We watched all of her signing videos today and she impressed me with her recall! She is sick and yet she is still paying attention, absorbing the information and trying, trying trying!  No one can say that Cecily does not give her all every day.  She inspires me to do more, be better, and to also try, try try! 

There are days lately where all I want to do is crawl into bed... the sleep deprivation is brutal and it makes me be a not so nice person to be around.  I find myself struggling during the day to put on a smile and to remember my manners.  I hear people whining over things that don't matter and my tolerance is at an all-time zero.  I find myself whining and I hate myself for it - Cecily is the one suffering!  So I will invoke the spirit of Cecily and try, try try!

And then there is Cason.  It has been a rough week.  He had a lot less attention as the focus was squarely on keeping Cecily out of the hospital.  But did Cason cry, complain or have a well deserved fit? In the words of Pete the Cat, "Goodness No..."  He just kept rocking in his shoes... I love that kid!  I can be having what feels like the worst day ever and he throws his hands in the air, shakes his bootie and flashes me his toothy grin and I can't help but smile, smil smile!  He is a gift, a joy and a blessing.  Than you God for sending us Cason.

And then there is Noah - the kid that started it all!  He loves Cecily so much and I hated seeing him worry about her.  He was so worried that Cecily would have to go away again to the hospital.  The older he gets the more appreciation he has for the abilities he has.  He realizes how hard Cecily has to work to communicate, move and eat.  He was so excited that Cecily had a feeding tube removed and is now very confident that we'll be able to remove the other one, too.  His optimism is so sweet and precious. He continues to amaze me with his compassion.  He loves having a baby brother that idolizes him but he is still his little sister's biggest cheerleader!

We have had one hell of a week! My wonderful Mom was in hospital twice, Cecily was very ill and we've had our fair share of "other stuff" happening... but when the week comes to a close there is one thing that remains true.  There may always be Detours Ahead - but we'll be tackling them together as a family.

Onwards & Upwards!

If this picture came with a caption it would read: I AM FIERCE!

This is one of my most favorite pictures of Cecily.  The look is determined. Her eyes are focused. Her posture is sturdy and she is ready to take on the world with her sassy and spunky style.

Over the last 6 weeks we have seen Cecily blossom.  While she took her first steps on Halloween - it was not until the end of January that she just took off!  Walking is now her primary mode of transport and she is so very proud of herself.  (And we are so very proud of her, too!) It seems like week after week, and day after day, Cecily is making amazing strides - and not just with her walking!  

Today as we celebrate her birthday - we are filled with hope for her future and happiness for the joy she has filled our lives with - and the lives of so many others.  She continues to prove the impossible IS possible with a lot of hard-work, determination, passion and a healthy dose of stubbornness...

This week we celebrated ANOTHER milestone for sweet Cecily.  We decided to try potty training and after just 3 attempts she had victory! On just her 3rd day of training she has already put #1 and #2 in the potty!  When Noah's buddy came over today he was overheard telling him, "My sister... she went potty in the potty for the first time in her whole life today!"  He was so proud of her and seeing him celebrate her victories is the best present a Mommy could ever hope to have! When Mr. Noah first saw Cecily walk a few weeks ago he slapped both hands on his face and said, "Oh My Gosh!" - before falling over in pure Noah drama... He clapped and cheered and celebrated her success in a way that makes me so very proud of him, too.  (And for the record - Cason was clapping and grinning from ear to ear, too!)

Miss Cecily is undeniable in so many ways.  She soaks in the world around her and tunes out the people who speak to her as if she is not present.  She is keen to separate the believers from the non-believers and she works hard for those people who know that SHE CAN DO IT!  She is one tough cookie and she knows what she wants and once she has her little mind set on something she will try very hard to see it through!

Another joy of late is to hear her sweet laugh fill the house with pure love.  She is giggling with her brothers - wrestling them on the mat & chasing them around in a fun game of peek-a-boo! She just loves to laugh and when she makes her happy sounds it is impossible not to laugh along.  She is infectious!

She is a daily reminder that life is not easy, or fair or guaranteed.  She is a reminder to make each day special and to try, try, try... She tries so very hard and she never gives up.  She is so committed and we celebrate her success.  She is now riding her horse like a champion!  We credit POVA with building up her core strength so she can walk! She now sits so tall on Miss BlueBelle and she is so proud when she walks into the ranch on her own two feet!  She is exploring her world in ways I only dreamed of... and it is better than anything I could have wished for. 

I hope by sharing these very personal moments about Cecily we can spread hope to other families.  There were so many days when we were not sure what the next day would bring.  We didn't dare to think about the future; we were rooted in surviving the present.  We took one day at a time and Cecily responded and rose to every occasion.  It was not easy.  It is not easy.  BUT... it is wonderful and the rewards are so great!

Today - we are filled with hope.  Cecily is our amazing, smart, beautiful and silly girl.  And if you sit with her long enough she'll tell you herself that she's much more than a pretty face.  She has a lot to offer this world and she continues to inspire us.

Happy Birthday Sweet Cecily!  We are so proud of you - not for just what you have accomplished but for how hard you try to achieve your goals.  We are so lucky to have a little girl to remind us about the important things in life.  Thank you for being patient with us. We know we have a lot to learn as parents but we will get there together - as a FAMILY!

Happy Happy Happy Happy Birthday!

Onwards & upwards!