Despite feeling incredibly busy on Day 1 - I took the time to hang my pictures back up so I could see the kiddos as I worked away. It helped... but not enough! I pinched myself several times as I trudged through thousands (yes, thousands) of unread email... My laptop crashed 3x, my new Android phone didn't get coverage in my new cube (but ironically worked on the other side of the building), and then the app required to get office mail on my phone wouldn't load. My new docking station didn't dock and I kept telling myself these were signs... weren't they? Was the universe telling me to go home? Brien assures me these are not signs and there is no choice in the matter so I should just suck it up... And so I will. One of my favorite quotes from my childhood still rings in my head when I face a situation that I hate:
"If you can't change something... change the way you think about it..."
So I will do my best because isn't that all we can do? Our very, very best. And I'm grateful to have some amazing co-workers who helped make the transition back into corporate life a little easier.
We are still without a nurse for Cecily. The saga continues... and I'm guessing it could be several weeks before we have someone hired and up and running. I am just ever so grateful to my folks for helping us once again weather the storm until we can get our childcare situation in order. I am just so supremely grateful for the YMCA... Noah is in love. He runs around the house singing camp songs, the YMCA song, and gets so excited about everything! Tomorrow he starts Superhero camp... I am just praying he does not tell his counselor that he wants to be Superhero Capt. Underpants... LOL... that is what he calls himself at home. He will get to make his own costume, his own superhero and then perform on Friday. Time will tell... but one thing I know for sure: he is happy!
Cason is equally delighted! He seems to have adjusted to Grammy and Grampy without missing a beat. As long as he is full he is happy go lucky! I am so grateful. I miss him terribly but when I come home he is happy to see me and life continues. His smiles are a mile wide and an oceand deep. His eyes twinkle and he is just truly an angel baby. I prayed for this baby and he came! Thank you! Prayers answered.
Cecily is another story. She is mad. She loves Grammy and Grampy but she is mad at me. After four months of non-stop Mommy... she does not understand why I'm leaving her and why I'm not around. It is at these times where I feel the painful guilt of being a working Mom. The irony is I am working for her! I am working to provide for her and to ensure she has everything she needs. I just wish she knew how much it rips my heart out to leave her every day (even though work is much EASIER than staying home!) I can honestly say that while my day job is far from easy - it is more relaxing than some of the chaos that comes on the bad days. (And lately, we've had a few bad days.) I just hope that once school starts that everything falls into place. The good news is I only work 9-4 Tues-Thurs... so in theory she is at school, then napping until I arrive home. I just hope things get better. Cecily is such a sweet, loving girl. She demands attention but then again she has always had it... so who can blame her for giving me the business!
Tomorrow is another day. I will remind myself the glass is half-full and hope for the best!
Onwards and upwards!