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Proud Mama

4/15/2013

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There are days when I am definitely not the Mom I want to be.  I'm tired after a long day at work, from waking in the middle of the night multiple times - and from admittedly often taking on too many things.  I worry if I'm doing the right things for my children and if they are each getting everything they need to be strong, sensitive, independent beings.

The other night I came home from work and I was just flat out exhausted.  Noah was hungry.  Cecily was fussy.  And Cason - well he was just a happy little clam looking for his cuddles and his bottle of milk!  Cecily was still on her feeding tube, Cason needed his bottle and Noah needed his dinner.  Noah was being very patient but I knew my time was running out.  I decided to turn on the Monkey (Curious George) for 30 minutes in hopes of having Cecily sit in her chair for the duration of her feeding.  (It is much easier to handle two little ones if one of them is sitting down!) 

Noah continued to let his hunger be known... even after I told him the dinner would be salmon, broccoli and carrots.  I decided I could race from the playroom to the kitchen to just turn on the pan and get a few things going... About 1 minute later I hear Noah shouting and sure enough Cecily had decided to move. Luckily Noah was on the case! He picked up her backpack that holds her milk and connects to her feeding tube - put the backpack on, and proceeded to follow Cecily around the house. I couldn't have been more proud!  Noah is always so quick to help me.  He is wise beyond his years and he is so compassionate.  I often feel people don't see the real Noah because when third parties are around - whether it be Cecily's nurse, a helper, or even friends & family - he is trying so hard to get his share of the attention.  (For the record - this kids gets LOTS of attention!) It's just his baby siblings get a lot too and he likes to ensure no one forgets about him!  I digress... Seeing Noah sitting with Cecily - holding the backpack and being so gentle and protective just made my heart swell up!  I was so happy.  I was so proud.  It made me realize that while I may often beat myself up over the things we can and can't do given our situation - Noah is thriving and he is learning the important lessons or empathy, kindness and true, unconditional love. 

On days like today where the the attack in Boston can spread so much gloom and doom - we must all look at the wonderful things in each of our lives.  The hateful people that planned and executed an attack would be only too thrilled to think they were spreading more hate and pain to others.  Together we must choose to hugs our kids a little tighter and perhaps snuggle a little longer - but for tomorrow we must let go - for I am convinced they will surprise us in ways we could never imagine.   I can definitely be accused of being a helicopter Mom, an over-protective Mom, a worry-wort... the list is endless.  But I'm also a very proud Mom and I know that kids learn from their parents.  Our kids watch our reactions and interpret the events through our lens.  We can choose to find the good and teach our kids that they can make a positive difference.  Today is a sad day but tomorrow will be better.  I have not ran in a long time... too long... but perhaps tomorrow I'll tie on the old shoes and run for those that were injured and can't run. 

Onwards and upwards!

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    Noah, Cecily & Cason's Mom

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