I LOVE the way the kids look at each other. I often wonder what they are all thinking... Cecily gazes at Cason with a look that could stop anyone dead in their tracks. Her eyes are so expressive that she does not even need to say/sign anything. We know in one glance if she is there for hugs, cuddles or pure mischief! Cason has captivated her attention like nothing else. She still walks all over the house (in her walker) searching for Noah... but if we dare to put Cason down and pretend not to watch she is there (at crawl speed!) in no time at all. She kisses him constantly and rubs his head with her chubby little paws. She is not always gentle but we're pretty sure that her motives are sweet 99.9 percent of the time.
It has been a rough week. Heck... it has been a rough 2 weeks... and I have found myself walking into my bedroom to sit down and breathe. I wonder if the children know when I'm feeling kinda crazy and tired and admittedly overwhelemd with the combined pressures of Mom, wife, employee, and operator of Cecily's Closet. I find myself up at all hours of the night - every night - wondering how I will function the very next day after receiving what amounts to 1-4 hours of sleep. (Everyone except Noah has been sick... and it seems to be on spin-cycle). We just keep passing it around like a hot potato and we are all getting burned. When Cecily gets ill everything goes haywire. She can't tolerate her feeds and she gets dehydrated - a problem made 10x worse given this heat wave in SD. She has recently discovered her g and j-tube and has come very close to pulling it out every night during her bath or her diaper changes. She has started biting her hands again - and she is having episodes of pain - likely related to her illness. Cason smiles through his sickness but sleeping is a problem when you've got an ear infection. The challenge - how can one hold two babies up right at night? The answer. You can't!
And so it goes... I wonder... I really wonder how people do this without family in town. I admitted defeat and called in enforcements. My Mom and Dad are always ready to help me but I hate to ask. I hate to call and admit that I'm a ticking timebomb and I need help. But alas, they show up and diffuse the bomb and infuse my spirit with the energy I need to tackle tomorrow... I am hoping for a few more hours of sleep.
This past week I wondered aloud - a lot. I wondered about the challenges of Cecily's Closet - and the opportunity of growing it without killing myself or the family. I met with fabulous women who listened to me rant and rave and then they responded with WONDERful suggestions. And even better. They responded with WONDERful actions. And I am so very grateful. I will be talking about all of these great things another day...I just wanted to say thank you to Julie and Julie, Christina, Emily, Gina, Karla, Gayle, Sherri, Anita, Beverly and all of the amazing women who have stepped up to help me manage Cecily's Closet. I wonder if you know what you mean to me... More on all of their great work this week.
Right now I wonder which baby will make me up first...
Onwards and upwards!